For so long I have loved so many things. Fashion, photography, style, home decor, food, adventure, parties, and nestling in for the night, cities, mountains. I had always been incredibly at ease when it came to to falling in love with things that struck a chord with me; random things...cupcakes, peonies, the perfect quote, the perfect shoe, the perfect pair of jeans, lyrics by Eddie Vedder (all perfect).
Until, I reached my 30's.
Suddenly, I began to wonder why it was that I could NOT concentrate on ONE thing. What I had originally loved about myself when I was younger, which were my free-spirited & passionate personality quirks of loving all things beautiful to me, took a strange twist in my mind, to that of, I just couldn't decide, or commit to one thing in particular. Suddenly my free spirit began to feel more flakey than fashionable.
Why could I just not be happy learning to knit, or garden and be satisfied with that for the rest of my life? Why was I was a literary schizophrenic, who bounced between Victor Frankl and Man's Search for Meaning to Ruth Reichl's Garlic and Saffires to Alligator's, Old Mink, and New Money--a story of a woman pursuing her passion of vintage fashion, who to this day, runs her little boutique out in New York?
Simply put, I was driving myself crazy. So, I made a list.
I made a list of everything that made me ridiculously happy. In particular, the people who stir the Wonder Woman inside of me, that I so desperately wanted to become by the age of 8. Then, of course, I had to analyze exactly what characteristics about those people I admired, and why it was that I loved them. Here is what I came up with...
Nanny--my husband's grandmother. Raised on a farm in Arkansas, once got her cow Daisy drunk on accident, survived being a military wife, came from nothing yet made the best out of everything, learned to be an incredible hostess, always appreciates (good) style, history, etiquette and fashion. To this day, at the age of 90, Nanny still dishes out incredible advice, and can sit and critique the pages of Vogue without batting an eye. She tells the truth, good or bad, and loves her family more than anything. What word would I NEVER associate with Nanny? Boring.
Next--Ina Garten. I would love to cozy up in her home in the Hamptons, taste the delicious food she creates, wander through her gardens and meet her seemingly fabulous friends. The best part of her? She went from a government job, to running a ridiculously successful business in something she had zero experience in--a specialty food store. She took a chance with what she loved, and it paid off. And I am not talking about money, although that is a bonus, but her passion and creativity soared. Again, boring is not a term that would enter my vocabulary to describe her.
3rd? Coco Chanel. Seriously, the "Little Black Dress"? Quotes like, "A woman should be two things: Classy and Fabulous"?? Her rebellious streak against the norm??? Pretty certain that "boring" never entered her vocabulary.
I continued to list people. All of them shared one common quality, they were all incredibly diverse. NONE of them had taken a single path in their lives. None of them are what I would consider boring. I suddenly realized that the very assets that I devoutly admired in other successful women, I was somehow, twisting into a source of negative self banter in my own life. Me, being my own biggest critic, became alarmingly accurate, based on inaccurate self evaluation. An inaccuracy that made me question my ability to be great at any ONE thing (which I would label as boring), created a belief that I was never to be truly great at anything, just mediocre at many. My inaccuracy in identifying my own characteristic as diverse, had deceived me into believing I was...mediocre and boring.
So, in attempt to prove myself wrong, and refocus my inaccuracy of mediocrity into diversity, I want to start documenting all of the incredible adventures that I get to experience as a result of my interest in so many things. I am starting this blog, to simply remind myself, what incredible adventures, big or small, creative or ridiculous make up my life.
The truth is, I am one of the most passionate people I know. I get excited over the smallest of things, laugh at the top of my lungs almost daily, and love inspiring tidbits of information that make lives better! I am embracing all that I love in one single place, all that makes me ridiculously happy, all that I am passionate about, and finally re-framing my looming sense of "flakey", into a war against my true enemy: boring.
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